We got together with Martina Bajánková @thinush and talked about the changes that come with motherhood and what she thinks is the most important thing to teach her kids.
Martina Bajánková, 36, mum to Rebeka 8 y and Amelia 3 y, photographer and founder of @mbstudio.sk
What was the biggest change for you, becoming a mother?
The biggest change in my life came with the acceptance of the fact that a little person came into my life, and I must take care of her and worry about her for the rest of my life. I accepted the role of motherhood very naturally, with the first baby we were perfectly matched, and everything went very smoothly. The bigger change came with the second baby, who was much more active, and beside her I already had a schoolgirl. This together was one of the most challenging periods of my life.
How would you describe motherhood?
I would describe it as a ride on a rollercoaster. There are times when I feel helpless, tired, and out of control. But on the other side, I feel happy, filled with love and peaceful. That's why I try to find a balance in motherhood, work, and other responsibilities, I don't always succeed and nor do I always have the right conditions for it. But when I do and I can put myself into work, have time for myself and household duties and for the children, then I feel that everything is alright.
What is the most important thing you want to teach your children?
I would like them to be empathetic, decent human beings, that treat people equally. I also would like them to be able to distinguish which relationship are important for their lives, and which ones are better to let go off.
I try to teach them not to take what they have for granted and that not all children are so lucky and healthy as they are, that they appreciate what they have.
It is important to me that they get known the fact that I and their father will be their first aid station, and that they can come to us with whatever is troubling them. Moreover, I would like them to become confident girls and later women, that believe in themselves and not be ashamed of who they are in any aspect of their life.
What have you gotten better at since becoming a mother?
I'm working on my patience, which honestly, I never had, but you need it with children. I try to control my explosiveness, and I don't always succeed. And finally, not to take everything in life so seriously, even though I truly consider myself as a phlegmatic person.
How do you create a work and life balance?
Do I? I'm trying. It is difficult, high demands are placed on women and mothers nowadays. I try to be a good mother, but e.g. I rarely manage to squeeze cooking into my daily routine. I consider myself as a creative person since childhood, but the more I'm at home with the kids, the more lazy I get and then it's hard to jump on the running train. I know that I must put myself into work, to create as much as possible, otherwise I would easily slip into my personal shell.
What does quality mean to you?
Since I owned a brand where I followed the motto of quality over quantity, this idea is still close to me. I shop little, I try to buy clothes made of natural materials or organic cotton. It is not always true that expensive clothes are automatically made of high-quality. My sister and my friends switch our baby clothes, and I can already see which brands are wearable even after years. I also tried to buy local brands, but many times I became disappointed. So, for me, the sensible way is to buy less, buy clothes that will last for years and still serve. For example, I have no problem buying second-hand clothes, and I actually got the taste for loppis shops since we stayed in Sweden few years ago.
Give us your best advice on creating a wardrobe for your child
When kids were small, I bought clothes in neutral tones, without signs or glitters. Great thing about that is that these clothes are easy to combine, and I don't have to distinguish between what can be washed and not dyed with it. Now that I have a schoolgirl, she has added a lot of colorful clothes because she likes them. I tried kept an eye on her for a long time, but I don't want to limit or influence her by my preferences. I think carefully about buying clothes, I don't just buy something because I like it, but because we need it, or we miss it.
What are you dreaming about right now?
I am dreaming of having more time for myself one day, but when it comes to it, I think I´ll be much older :) but I'm at the age right now when I still have the energy to create, so I must fall from the clouds, don't dream, kick myself in the ass and say: Martina, now or never! However, my biggest travel dream is to see killer whales on a boat trip in the Norwegian fjords.
What do you do to take care of yourself?
Yoga, nature, sometimes a sip of wine and a good movie.